Day 7 (Cancer Free!)

 Ok…I need to clarify my post title: Since yesterday was day 1 (50) of this journey with cancer, I'm thinking that's enough days of the "C" stuff….on to the CF stuff! All cancer was removed from my body last Wed., thus Day 7! A NEW BEGINNING! 

This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

Although last night was the roughest night I've had as far as physical pain is concerned, NO amount of pain could smother my joyful excitement from the great news yesterday-NO CANCER outside the breast. My fervent prayer was just that, and God answered. I truly believe I have experienced a healing miracle by God. Pastor Helen has prayed over me specifically for that, and Pastor John and the entire church prayed over me a few weeks ago for complete removal of the cancer from my body. Well, BB's…there really is no other explanation as far as I'm concerned. There were no cancer cells found in my lymph nodes, no cancer cells (or even pre-cancer cells-whatever they are?) in the suspicious area surrounding my tumor, and, the most amazing clincher that God had a hand in this: the 7 mm intermediate growing, invasive, ductal carcinoma tumor (not slow growing, likes to leave the breast and get the body, milk duct cancer tumor)  was SMALLER than what it was originally! There really is no other explanation than-IT'S A GOD THING!


God has been beside me every step of this journey, and I believe he will continue to hold my hand through the radiation and/or whatever further treatment I will endure. If I've gleaned one very important tool for life through these prior 50 days, it is that I need to let go of my self-will and leave the "worrying" to Him. It has never been more clear to me than during these past weeks, how my own self will is at the root of all of my worrying. I am known as the "family worry queen", (well…that would be after my Mother, and Sister, of course!:) But, I think after my recent experience, I'll be passing that torch on to my daughter. (sorry, Jill, I hope it doesn't take you 60 years to "get it") I have mentioned often about my "claiming" Philippians 4:6 as my own. I still do. I know that I will need that verse again, probably often times, throughout the remainder of my days here on this side of Heaven. And, how grateful I am that I can! Those twenty-one words sustained me throughout the toughest days of my life. They pulled me out of the dungeons of darkness and hopelessness up into the light of our Heavenly Father. Twenty one words saved me, again and again, and again. And isn't that exactly what we are called to do? 


A friend of mine once gave such a great description of who we are as Christians. She explained how she was a living sacrifice to Jesus Christ, and even though she keeps falling off the altar, she continues to crawl back up! I really love that analogy-it fits me to a tee! Life goes along so great-in fact it wasn't more than a couple months ago that I was sharing with Jack how my life is so great. It just can't get any better. And then-BOOM! Just like that, in the blink of an eye, my entire life and world as I knew it was turned upside down and would never, ever be the same again. I've been living my life as my friend explained-falling off the altar continually-and when I walked out of the clinic 50 days ago, I was scrambling back up, like a cat up a tree running from Daisy.  I've been praying for sometime now that I would be more vigilant in my Bible reading and study, and getting closer to Christ. Well, that prayer was answered, too. Nothing like death staring you in the face to get you up close and personal with Jesus! 


So, as it turned out, I've received so much goodness throughout all of this "badness" these past weeks. I've improved (trust me, it's a work in progress) on my worrying/self-will, (Philippians 4:6) I've become closer to the Lord-through prayer and meditation AND the youversion app on my iphone/daily devotions and reading the Bible in a year. (it's awesome-check it out! Once connected, you CAN'T put it aside for another day-it continues to beep at you until you READ IT!;) And, even though I've always thought of myself as the epitome of a person who "stops and smells the roses", I now spend HOURS sniffing! Life is so much more precious to me than it ever was before. Those of you who have walked this thorn filled path with me or held someone's hand who did, have a pretty good idea of what I'm talking about.

                                               :~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:
ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .


I will keep my thoughts in the present, for God will take care of tomorrow.


                                               :~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:


Now, if I can get my armpit to stop hurting (patience) and make it through the shower without passing out (healing), and learn to take these hot flashes with a grain of salt-or more showers! (deodorant), I will be ready to move on and do whatever it is God has in store for me. Obviously he is expecting some pretty hard work from me, since I won't be dealing with the sickness and exhaustion of chemo. (THANK YOU, GOD!) 


I plan to work on that worry stuff more, and let go and let God! One thing I can do, is continue to post on this blog every day! And that, I intend to do. So, for those of you who really don't care to read my gibberish, you know the rule: Take what you want and leave the rest!

Do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself.

                                                       The Bible, book of Matthew

1 (50)

PRAISE GOD! 

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

I just got off the phone with Doctor Moline's nurse, and got exactly the news you and we have all been praying for! The margins around the tumor that they biopsied are clear/no cancer, the lymph nodes came back clear/negative, and the tumor (are you ready for this????) was SMALLER THAN THEY HAD ORIGINALLY THOUGHT!!!! I am flying so high, I'm not sure when I'll come down off this cloud I'm on….(I did have moments of grounding when I got to jumping around and realized I'm still healing from the incisions:( OW! OW!) 

Next step: Post-Op appt. on Feb. 7th. At that time Dr. will discuss what's next. I have no idea, so can't share anymore right now. But, then, I don't need to! The best news, the exact news I've been requesting on my knees all day, is this-they got all the canSer!!!! 

I have to make a few more phone calls to my parents and family, so….until next time-my SINCERE, HEART-FELT THANK YOU to all of you magnificent prayer warriors! You are amazing children of God, and I am humbly and eternally grateful to all of you, and of course most importantly to GOD! Thank you God, for this TEST-now I have TESTIMONY!!

"WHEN ANXIETY WAS GREAT WITHIN ME, YOUR CONSOLATION BROUGHT ME JOY!" Psalm 94:19

1 (49)

Sunday, 1/29/12
We were entertained again last evening by our sweet granddaughter and her Mama and Daddy. While Papa and Ryan went out for a "guys get-away" after dinner, Mama Jill and GG played with Miss Tatum and then after tucking her in, watched a movie.


It was a busy morning with breakfast and getting packed up and off for the Nagle family. I had just parked on my favorite spot on the loveseat deciding my agenda for the day:  Shall I sit on the left side of the couch or the right? Daisy broke one of her cardinal hearing dog rules, and started barking at the door, and in walked my dear sis-in-law, Linda. She dug right in and began cleaning and doing laundry. I got her to sit for a second and visit just long enough for the doorbell to ring again! My BBF, Jo, and her hubs, John, stopped by after church-and of course she was bearing gifts! Delivered three very cool heart rocks from Pastor Helen, and a quilt block for the church quilt to be auctioned off at Apple Festival next Fall. (FYI, I have received an uplifting card from Jo every single day for the past 2+ weeks-even the day SHE went in for surgery! Now you understand why she's my BBF!) When I asked Jo what the deadline was to have the quilt block done, she said, "Oh, whenever." After reminding her about my ADDWOM, she said that the "bosses" did mention that next Sunday or the Sunday after would be fine! YIKES! Better get this left arm limbered up quickly!


3:00 P.M. (or so)
Linda left a bit ago, and I'm supposed to be taking a nap. Thought it was an impossibility, but my eyelids are beginning to droop-that's a great sign! Most likely I'll have to finish this post in an hour or so. Hopefully the fodder for stories will be a bit richer by then! Catch ya all later……


Monday, 1/30/12
WOW! Time flies when you have company! AND put blindfolds on, do deep breathing, and plug the headphones into Amy Grant! Recap: I had a great day yesterday-caught up on my youversion Bible daily readings/daily devotions, fun/loving people stopped by, Linda finished all the laundry and vacuumed, ate lots of yummy kale chips for lunch (they REALLY are DELICIOUS-coated with pureed raw cashews, garlic and sea salt), crashed into a deep, restful nap for an hour or more, read a few of my fantastic "7-pile", Watched two great movies with my love-Money Ball and Smile Like the Moon(?), weaned off the pain meds. and had tylenol only:)  and was blessed with a peaceful night's sleep. GOD IS GOOD!


I'm surprisingly calm as we await the news from the doctor with the pathology test results.  GOD IS GOOD! I am feeling optimistically positive about it, and ready to take on whatever treatment is down the pike. I'm feeling stronger than ever, and more empowered with each paragraph I read in Crazy Sexy Diet  by Kris Carr (this is a MUST read-whether you have a cancer or not.) 


I also received more words of wisdom from my #2 ROCK this morning. He sends me a special "love note" each morning-he did this long before I got a canSer!;) (I'm copying Kris here-she misspells the word cancer to point out her empowerment-it works!) Today's message really spoke to me-especially the last line: 

Where There is Charity and Wisdom

                                                     ---- St. Francis of Assisi (paraphrased)
Where there is charity and wisdom, there is neither fear nor ignorance.
Where there is patience and humility, there is neither anger nor annoyance.
Where there is love and joy, there is neither greed nor selfishness.
Where there is peace and meditation, there is neither anxiety nor doubt."

 *from the book: The 12 Step Prayer Book Volume 2 by Bill P. and Lisa D.

I'm not expecting to hear from my doctor until late this evening, as this is her surgery day, but I will be posting whatever news I get as a new post today. As for the remainder of my day-I won't be struggling with the decision of which side of the couch I'll be parking my bottom on, because the entire day will be spent on my knees.;)

Please remember and hold up in prayer so many loved ones who have fought the battle or are fighting it alongside me-and all who are in pain for other disease or tragedy: To name a few-Tate, Sue, Sherry, Jo, Mindy, Mark, Don, Susan, Dawn, Cristi, Bruce, Sue, Annie, Greg…….

"I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you" Genesis 28:15

"For He has said, I will never leave thee nor forsake thee." Hebrews 13:5

"And the Lord will take away from thee all sickness…" Deuteronomy 7:15

"Fear not: for I am with thee." Isaiah 43:5a

THANK YOU PRAYER WARRIORS!

Day 1 (48)

Amazing God Wink today: I received two cards in the mail, one from my BBF, Jo,  and the other from an older, dear friend, Pat. Although the cards were different, they each had the same Bible verse: 

I am the Lord who heals you. Exodus 15:26

This verse seems so appropriate right at this moment in my life. I feel strong healing taking place within my body, my spirit and my mind. 

It's the 3rd day after surgery, and time to remove the outer waterproofing bandages. Those of you who know me well, understand my squeamishness with anything that involves cuts, 

bandages, or eyes. I am DEFINITELY not the "nurse" of the family. Most "normal" people would think nothing of removing bandages-but then, I've never claimed to be "normal". (That's an entire topic for another day: What Is Normal?) And, one would think after enduring the "Buffet" day Wednesday, bandage removal would be a piece of cake! Not so with this weenie. Thank God for my amazing ROCK-he came through for me again. I didn't pass out, but felt the beads of sweat and saw the stars (some of you are at this moment thinking I have completely lost my marbles along with my wire!)  I included my Lamaze breathing, and everything came off just fine! 

I am the Lord who heals you. Exodus 15:26

I've been having a bit of slippage into those dark corners, albeit very brief moments. The 7 books I'm reading all say that this is completely normal. The important thing is to keep dragging myself back up and stand strong and stay positive. (Philippians 4:6) The dark holes are getting fewer and brighter, and I am seeing glimmers of sparkle at the end of the tunnel. 

I am the Lord who heals you. Exodus 15:26

Last night we had the delightful privilege of our daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter's presence. After spending all day in court and working on diesel engines for hours on end, the kids brought us elk steak dinner! YUM! It was a treat, and of course the biggest gift was enjoying Miss Tatum entertain us with her three year old antics-the latest of which is speaking "Hawaiian". She is so hilarious as she looks us right in the eye with total seriousness when we ask her, "How do you say horse?". Without missing a beat, she rattles off some jibberish that sounds like it actually COULD be another language. She continued as fast as we could ask without any hesitation or cracking a smile. Ryan and Jill said she started doing this while they were in Oahu last week, and after awhile, they looked at each other and said, "What if she really IS speaking their language?!" It's the funniest thing. She is a definite combination of her sensitive Daddy and Nana, her (sorry Jill-but you get the credit here)strong-willed Mommy, and her witty Papa. Needless to say, Tatum is a blessing to us who brought this Nana much mental/emotional healing. 

I am the Lord who heals you. Exodus 15:26

This card, although missing a Scripture verse, is packed full of Love, and if you read my post yesterday, or had a chance to listen to Martina McBride's outstanding song: "I'm Gonna Love You Through It", you'll see why it means so much to me:

Mommy told me as Tatum placed each sticker on this card, she said, "Nana's gonna LOVE this one!"

LOVE'S GONNA GET ME THROUGH THIS!

God does not offer us a way out of the testings of life. He offers us a way through, and that makes all the difference. --W.T. Purkiser

Day 1 (47)

9:00 AM
I am rested, showered, and ready to take on the day! (not) I'm actually ready to sit in my favorite spot by the fire with Daisy snuggled next to me, as I read the pile of 7 books! I AM showered and rested, however, and very thankful for both. The pain continues to be minimal, and as I caught up on my emails/facebook/messages/msn news this morning, I realize I have much to be thankful for. I am over one hurdle, and healing-blessings!


BREAK


3:00 PM


Ok….I probably overdid it just a tad. Nothing serious, just tried to help Jack help me make a veggie drink in my new vitamix. I didn't use my left arm at all, (thus the need for his help to do the chopping, washing, etc.) But, I did stand a bit long, and probably got a bit over excited (I LOVE my new kitchen toy!) I took the doctors advice (after she scolded me and said I wasn't supposed to be doing ANYTHING) and went to bed and took a NAP! That felt wonderful! Just what I needed, and a little reminder that I really do need to do NOTHING for a bit longer. Sorry, my #2 ROCK, you'll have to play that role as "house-husband" for awhile longer. Nothing like having two full-time jobs at age 60+ with a knee that is getting replaced on Valentine's Day, huh?! 


Speaking of ROCKS, Martina McBride wrote a song especially for ME! (or so it seems) Son Kyle emailed me this morning to tell me to check it out on youtube. "I'm Gonna Love You Through It" Amazing song about my 2 most important ROCKS. I'm trying to load it on here, but haven't figured it out yet. If you get a chance to pull it up, I'll give you the same advice Kyle gave me-grab the tissues. 


AND….a few "rocks" I acquired the day of my surgery: 

 Tatum stopped by on her way to "school" and handed me this piece of coral she found in Oahu.

This beauty was a gift from Pastor Helen.

Have you ever noticed how when something happens in your life, it seems as though similar situations literally come out of the woodwork? I noticed it first 34 years ago when I became pregnant with Kyle. In the blink of an eye, I found out about a friend or was introduced to a new acquaintance who was also pregnant. The next noticeable happening of this sort took place about eight years later when our son was diagnosed with diabetes. Suddenly we knew of several children who also had diabetes. When I was diagnosed with this breast cancer, it was literally a few hours later that I learned one of my very closest friends was walking the same nasty journey I was starting. AND, my BBF, who we had just recently met at our church here on the bluff, and sits right behind us in church (you know-the "assigned seat" ritual in small churches) is nearly walking with me step for step. And on and on it goes. Within the past 5 days, this is what I've learned:


 A good friend in CA awaits several medical tests, biopsies and results. Another dear friend recuperates from her surgery/radiation AND a nasty fall between the two that broke her nose, cut her lip, damaged a tooth, and gave her a concussion. Yet another close friend anticipates the beginning of her radiation treatment. Even another friend struggles with balancing treatment for debilitating, painful RA. A former schoolmate struggles with many tests and shock/fear/questions of recently being diagnosed with prostrate cancer. The husband of a classmate (one of those "family" members I mentioned a post or two ago), also diagnosed with prostrate cancer, had surgery the same day I had mine. A dear friend's daughter, who has a rare bone cancer goes in for her 6 month tests. A former 4th grade student of mine fractured her ribs, and her brother is struggling in boot camp. Another friend is battling health problems, recuperating from kidney stone surgery, and faces cataract surgery. My pray list grows and multiplies moment by moment.


Pastor John spoke awhile back about all the trials and tribulations that fall upon us. I really like his quote from someone (can't remember the person to give him credit): 
"God gives us TESTS so we have TESTimonies." Can you just HEAR the stories of praise and thanksgiving and healing that will be coming soon!? And that's just from those on MY list. Multiply that again and again and again…..WOW! We will be shouting to the world the greatness of our God! We will be making a joyful noise!

"Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands." Psalm 100:1 KJV

" O give thanks unto the LORD, for He is good: for His mercy endureth for ever." Psalm 107:1

I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST FINISHED THIS AT 5:37 PM!!!!

Day 1 (46)

                                                                                                                                               8:30 a.m.

Good Morning, B.B…..I'm back-well, at least until my pain pill kicks in! I am feeling over loaded with gratitude this morning. Thank you, all of you amazing prayer warriors, for lifting me up yesterday (and the preceding 44 days!). I truly felt them in so many ways: 1.) Loving hubs, daughter, sis-in-law, and Pastor by my side nearly the entire day.  2.) fantastic, caring and compassionate medical staff and Doctors. 3.) tears only twice-emotion, not pain induced 4.) safe, (nearly) uneventful ride home to my warm and cozy bed 5.) peaceful, restful, cough-free night's sleep

I'm not sure if it's the pain pill or simply my AGE that's causing this "writers block, brain-fart, intellectual overload". (thought I'd give you a choice so as not to offend anyone-remember the rule-{take what you want, delete the rest} I'm hoping things become clear soon, and if they don't, tune in for a continuing post.:)

                                                                                                                                              11:58 a.m.

Ok…back for a second shot at this. At this point in my recovery, I'm wishing they would have given me sleeping pills along with the pain meds. I'm restless, but thankful I love to read and have about 7 books piled up waiting patiently for me to COMPLETE. (yes, I'm one of those crazies who read several books at a time.) Must be connected to the ADDWOM. 

I'll attempt, again, to give you a brief picture of yesterday from my perspective. It actually began as we were driving to the "Doctors' Building" (out patient surgeries are done here rather than the hospital across the street) and received a message from a friend who had previously told me she had scheduled a mammogram 2 years late after hearing about my cancer. Her message yesterday stated that she had been called back for a second mammogram and biopsy.:( My heart sank and I began fervently praying for her and completely forgot about what I was facing. (a God Thing) 

First on the "Buffet" menu for the day was a visit to the MRI "Tube" for wire insertion/placement. (these wires guide the surgeon during the procedure as the inside tissue all looks the same) Before going into the tube room, the nurse had to put my IV in. Even though I explained to her how my veins aren't very easy on an empty stomach, and one pre-surgery newbe finally wheeled me into the "gas" after his 12 attempts and my nearly choking him, she insisted I had "good veins" (that's what they ALL say!) She did it--in TWO…(Philippians 4:6) and apologized profusely for bruising me and bound it so tight around my wrist my fingers started turning blue. (now the blue part is in fact embellishment) Next stop, MRI! My calmness during the multiple rides in and out of the tube for checking and placing and then checking again happened only with the soothing voice of Michael Smith in my headphones and this comfort cross in my hand: (Philippians 4:6)

Jill gave me this cross and it has accompanied me every step of the journey so far-even surgery yesterday!

The beautiful palm cross my BBF, Jo, gave me! 

These are two reminders to me of how Jesus is right where I need Him to be. I have felt his loving arms around me throughout this entire journey-sometimes his hug is so tight, it squeezes the tears right out of me. ;) And, He squeezes so much strength and courage into my body, mind, and soul. Each time I felt fear or pain, I simply squeezed my hand as I whispered "my" verse to myself over and over again. You know which one, right? You must have it memorized by now?! Philippians 4:6? "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

                                                                                                                                             2:00 p.m.

Ok…back on task here…(sorry…a combo of post surgery blah and ADDWOM). They have two wires in proper position and taped down securely. Down off the MRI table I go, into the wheelchair, and the nurse wheels me across and down the hall to another area where mammograms are done. After another few pit stops getting my human "ROCK" lined out in another waiting room, and the exam room ready, she wheeled me in, did the mammogram, and said, "so, they put one wire in…" 

I replied, "No, they put two in." After going back and forth with this conversation a couple times, and her saying that the mammogram showed only one wire, she excused herself and left the room. (Philippians 4:6) After sitting there for several minutes wondering if I was losing my mind from anxiety, or where that second wire had actually gone, the lady returned with two other "wire doctors". They introduced themselves, but with my hearing loss, had to repeat several times, and finally the head doctor simply formed her hands into a cup and tipped it back as she said, "you know…a swig of GIN!" At that point I wasn't sure if I should be worried or ask her for a nip! They proceeded to explain to me that for some reason and somewhere between the MRI table and this room, one wire had fallen out and disappeared. I was thinking after the fact that we should have checked the wheel on the wheelchair-probably wrapped around it like string on the vacuum brush! I asked the doctors if this happens often, because we have this GL thing that goes on in our family. (If you have forgotten about GL, scroll down a few posts) She did say I was "special", and that no, although they've had wires fall out, they usually can find them! 

Next stop-back into the original room/table where I had my first biopsy so these two "wire doctors" could put not ONE more wire in me, but TWO! Oh yea! But, that precious power in my hand and "my" verse running around in my head, (Philippians 4:6) I made it through with flying colors. Obviously, I reminded EVERYONE who got within 3 feet of me to BE CAREFUL NOT TO PULL THE WIRES OUT!!

3rd stop for the day was 5th floor surgery. The kind nurse who discovered the lost wire couldn't hide her happiness as she delivered me to the check in desk! After signing several papers, with my hubby the interpreter, since my hearing aids had to be removed for the MRI, and were in a bag somewhere, the sweet lady said, "Oh, did they tell you, you need more blood work done?"

I, very patiently (Philippians 4:6)  already feeling like a sieve, replied to her, "Well, I went in to have bloodwork and all the pre-op work, chest X-ray, EKG, etc. on the 11th, and then got a call back because they had forgotten to draw something before my FIRST MRI. I went back and had that one done. Could that be it?" 

She said, "No…the Doctor needs one more thing, and you'll have to go across the waiting room and put your name on the list." The one GOOD thing about all of this traipsing around 3 different waiting rooms is-I had one of those lovely hospital gowns on with two tiny ties in the back so your entire backside is exposed for all the world to see-but, they also had given me very cool jammy pants to wear TOO! (you decide which definition of cool you want to use)

I imagine the wait to get poked yet another time was about 15 minutes. (Philippians 4:6) Bless my hubby's and daughter's AND baby Nagle #2's hearts-they waited patiently (or not so much) with me.

Moving right along, the wheelchair had somehow disappeared, so walking very carefully so as not to lose any wires (and some people think I'm losing my marbles?!), we were directed to a small waiting room until the pre-surgery-prep room became available. I had my trusty cheering section with me: Jack, Jill, and Pastor Helen. We visited, Helen prayed with me, and it wasn't too long and I was in on the gurney having a nice chat with another kind lady checking out all of my meds/allergies/history, etc. During that 2.5 hour waiting period I was poked and prodded yet again, (didn't know whether to knick name my left girl Porcupine or Pin Cushion) but I will spare you the details, since this is a family friendly/G-rated blog. My cheering squad hung right with me albeit being ushered in and out of my little curtained cubicle several times for doctors, nurses, and all the poking and prodding. Jack's sister, Linda, joined them, and she brought Frankincense oil and they prayed for me again. It was very special and comforting. 

Finally it was time to get the show on the road, and the anesthesiologist came in and gave me a shoulder block (another poke-but, in the back, this time)(Philippians 4:6) and it wasn't too long after that and it was lights out for GG.

I woke up about 2 hours later, a bit groggy, but feeling ok. It seemed like just minutes before the nurse was helping me get dressed, the doctor stopped by to say everything went great, and they wheeled me down to the truck. I didn't find out until on the ride home that Jill, Jack and Linda were all over across in the main hospital having a bite to eat, and they got a message for Jack that I was out of surgery. They scrambled to gobble their food and hurry over to the Doctor's building only to find out that they had called the wrong family! (Serenity Prayer) Oh my….sure am glad that every single nurse and doctor that spoke to me asked me, "Are we doing the left breast"? And, no, I am NOT embellishing the story here! 

The last leg of my Day 1 (45) was nearly over, but, of course not without event! As my stomach was empty from midnight until yesterday afternoon at 4:30, I had consumed a bit of cranberry/apple juice, but was still a bit queasy. I managed to make it 32 minutes of the 34 minute ride home. As I was leaving my colorful contents on the gravel road in Green Bluff, my comfort cross fell off my lap…..yup….you guessed it. Good thing it was just apple juice! AND…good thing I have the most awesome hubby in the world. 

Now, I know that some of you are totally convinced that I give TMI (too much info), but, let me remind you: 1.) I'm entitled and 2.) GG's Rule: Take what you want and delete the rest! 

One more thing--(a God thing)--When I arrived home, I had a message from my friend who had gone back for a biopsy? It was a cyst! She's fine and goes back in 6 months! (scroll back to top picture!)

Have a blessed day, I sure am! 

F.R.O.G. 

      F ully  R ely  O n  G od

I DO!

Still doing well.

I'm back at work today, but I talked to Action via e-mail a few times this morning and GG is doing fine.  She woke up in the middle of the night with some pain and then was able to sleep some more with meds.

Apparently she asked for breakfast this morning, so that's good. She was resting again last time I talked to Dad.

The prayers have been amazing. Thank you!

Done!

GG is out and doing great! The surgery went just as expected. They took out a spot about the size of a half dollar and then two little "dumbbells" on each side that will be tested for cancer. And of course the sentinel node to test for spreading. The results of the pathology are not expected back until Monday. So at this point it's more waiting and recovering for GG. She looks like a million bucks and she's still a little feisty so I guess no serious harm was done in today's procedure. :) She thinks she'll be ready to head home in maybe an hour or so. Please keep the prayers going that the cancer hasn't gone to the nodes. I'm guessing GG will be back to running the blog by tomorrow.

Still Waiting...

GG is in surgery and has been for a little over an hour. The Dr. thought it would take an hour and half or two hours. I told ya'll to enjoy the show. :) In other words, patience is a virtue. If you need advice on how to be more patient, i am really a pro at it, so feel free to contact me for assistance. I will update as soon as she's out.

Waiting...

Just wanted to give a little update on GG: She arrived at 8am, and after kisses from T Bug was quickly rushed back to the MRI. She spent about an hour and a half there and then headed to the mammogram. We've been upstairs playing the waiting game and GG is now getting the dye injected so they can biopsy her nodes. The surgery was originally set for 12:30 and at this point it looks like it will be delayed another hour at least. That will put us at 1:30-2:00 Pacific time. GG is in good spirits and feeling calm as far as we can tell. She had a little GL this morning when they inserted the two wires to guide the surgeon and by the time she got downstairs they were aleady missing one. Action thought maybe she ate it? She hasn't been able to eat or drink since last night so it's possible? :) Now we wait...and wait...so just grab something to eat or drink and enjoy the show.

Day 1 (45)

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, Off to Surgery I Go! If I don't add to this post later, my dear daughter, Jill, will! 


Praise God! Minimal cough.


"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your gifts to God." Philippians 4:6


"When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy." Psalm 94:19


"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1


"For He has said I will NEVER leave thee nor forsake thee." Hebrews 13:5


"No, in all these things we are more than conquerers through Him who loved us." Romans 8:37


"Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself is the rock eternal." Isaiah 26:4


"And the Lord will take away from thee all sickness…" Deuteronomy 7:15


"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13


"Thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I am." Isaiah 58:9

"FEAR NOT: FOR I AM WITH THEE." Isaiah 43:5

Day 1 (44)

Dogs and Kids….so intuitive. We "dog-sat" Pugsley, a boxer/pug pound puppy that Jill and Ryan adopted about 6 years ago. He is very intelligent, and very sensitive. Almost to the point of annoyance. For the past 5 days, Pugsley followed me everywhere-yes-even into the bathroom. (actually he laid outside the door and waited for me to come out) He slept on his bed outside our bedroom door every night, and no matter where I walked around the house, he was at my heel. When Jack and I sat in the hottub, he and Daisy laid by the door and watched until we returned. When I say annoyance, that was actually an exaggeration, because it was really a feel good moment to have him care so much about me. Dogs definitely have that extra sense, because he's visited on other occasions, and wasn't clingy at all. 


We just returned from meeting the kids at the airport with their car. They had just landed from their "Babymoon" trip to Oahu! Our sweet granddaughter, (the snorkler) came running down the hallway into my arms and hung on tight the entire time we waited for luggage to arrive. As I sat snuggling this little love of mine, she leaned back, looked me in the eye, and said, "Nana, is your heart still broken?" Oh yes, the tears were at bay….but I managed to hold them in as I reassured her that I was going to the hospital tomorrow to get it fixed. She wouldn't let go until we got to their car and headed for home. If anyone or anything can give me inner strength and courage to face tomorrows "buffet" of probing and testing; (other than God Almighty, that is) it is my little Tatum Bug. Even though I know that some of you may get of me talking about my sweet grandkids and kids, "I'm entitled" (remember, I'm reading 3 different cancer books-and they all say so!) So, for those of you who's ears are tiring of being bent in that direction-remember my warning in one of my beginning posts: read what you like and delete the rest!"


I had a nice "chat" with my BFF and cousin, Paulette, and I want to thank her for these words of wisdom to live each day by: 

Acceptance of life's changes.

Hear me, O God, for Jesus's sake and listen to my prayer. 

I'm not dealing well with change. 

Changing relationships, health, economics, living conditions, politics--all 

of this is beyond my control and disturbing my peace. Save me in this time of trial. 

Remind me that you and your great love and mercy and grace do not change. 

Help me, for I cannot help myself. Shield, protect, and deliver me from evil. 

Give me a thankful heart that sings you praises. Amen. 

(Taken from the Portal of Prayer)

We had a good visit, trying to catch up on our families, with the conversation often returning to cancer and how many of our friends and family have been or are battling it. I told her I was planning to drive to Adrian (my home town in ND) sometime this Summer, and that maybe we should plan a class reunion. (probably could do a "cancer fighter/survivor" reunion in conjunction) We graduated in a class of nine; seven girls, 2 guys. We, (like many other small town graduating classes) think of our class as quite unique and special. For many of our reunions (we began by having a 5 year) several of our parents stopped by for a visit. Until a few years back, all of our parents were still living and married (to their original spouse!) As of today, each of our class members are following in their parents' tradition. We all rode in my Dad's '65 Ford Convertible in the parade at the all school reunion a few years ago. We took a nostalgic ride into Dickey park (Nathan was driving….oh my!) and reminisced about the good times at Dickey High. 

We weren't simply a class-we were family. ( I would imagine that also is the case with many small town classes) As I think about the uniqueness of our High School graduating class, I can't help but think of how things have changed. Not by anyone's decisions or choices, but changed, nonetheless. We've gone from a "family" of individuals who defied statistics by staying married, weathered "normal" family crisis' and tragedies, lived "the dream" in many instances, and stayed closely connected to our parents and families-to a "family" who are experiencing life's changes. We all turned the spectacular age of SIXTY this past year. Along with that chronological move comes more aches and pains, less energy, more fun with grandkids for some of us, less time in the day to complete projects (or so it seems), more battles with those added pounds that seem to find our hips and bellies no matter how diligent we are with walking, biking, working out, running after grandkids and saying "no thanks" to desserts. And, unfortunately (or maybe fortunately for all the growth we are gathering from it both mentally/emotionally and spiritually), some of us have had or are experiencing cancer. That dreaded c-word that no one likes to think about, much less talk about has entered our innocent, small town, "family". (it actually first attacked one of our precious class members several years ago). And so…how do we handle news like this? How do we accept this type of adverse life change? We have no other choice but to stand up to it, confront it, and stare it in the face with everything we have to fight it! We utilize our devoted and intuitive loved ones and allow them to give us comfort, courage and support. For me, and for many of my classmates, the answer is/has been in these words that I shared above: All of this is beyond our control, therefore, we ask to be reminded of who IS in control, and how His great love and mercy and grace do not change. We ask God to shield us, protect us and deliver us from evil, and most importantly: we SING HIM PRAISES!

I am so grateful for my small town, farm-girl life. Because of my close "family" relationships of many kinds, and my grounded faith, I am able to face this cancer demon that is attacking my body head on. I am healthy, strong, and powerful-with God's help, and I know that with Him by my side, I WILL knock this cancer right out of me and into the next county! I will live the remainder of my life doing His will 
and praising His name every step of the way!

"Fear not: for I am with thee." Isaiah 43:5a

Day 1 (43)

Funny how God works in us. As I read my daily devotions and Bible reading on the youversion app on my iphone, today's lesson is from the book of Job. Hmmmmmm…could it be that I need PATIENCE right now? Oh my, yes! My surgery to remove a cancer that is in my body is scheduled to take place in two days, and I am fighting a nasty cold hoping and praying that they won't have to reschedule. I'm not plagiarizing below, however, I'm not sure who to give credit to for this information. It's good stuff, though, and certainly helps me through this journey I'm taking-to strive to be more like Job.

"The main idea running through the Book of Job is that when we justify ourselves, by saying that we don’t deserve to experience catastrophic loss, we condemn God, in effect accusing Him of being unjust.

Had Job not been a sinner, God could not have authorized Satan to torment him, and through his patient attempts to understand this, we learn valuable lessons. 

When everything is going our way, patience is easy to demonstrate. The true test of patience comes when our rights are violated--when another car cuts us off in traffic; when we are treated unfairly; when we have a cancer in our body and can't remove it quickly enough. Some people think they have a right to get upset in the face of irritations and trials. Impatience seems like a holy anger. The Bible, however, praises patience as a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) which should be produced for all followers of Christ (1Thessalonians 5:14) Patience reveals our faith in God's timing, omnipotence, and love."

I'm sitting in my favorite spot by the fire on this brisk January morning, melancholy in thought. I must be patient and wait for this all to take place, knowing strong in my mind, body, and soul that EVERYTHING is going to be absolutely perfect. 


Little Miss Tatum returns from Oahu tomorrow morning, and greeting her and her Mommy and Daddy at the airport will most likely put everything back into perspective! Grandkids are most definitely the BEST medicine for whatever ails us! Besides, I need her to give me a few snorkeling tips! 

Did I tell you, she's 3 years old?! Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble….especially where grandchildren are concerned!

Blessings on your day, B.B. (Blog Buddies);)

“For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.” Romans 15:4 NIV

Day 1 (42)

Well…so far, the COLD - 1, GG - 3. I woke up at 6:30 to let the dogs out (which Jack had already done, as I woke him with my snoring at 5:00?? can't be, because I DON'T SNORE) After a few more cold kicking drugs, I crawled back under the covers and didn't roll out until 9:00! Longest I've slept since I don't know when. Must have needed it. Sorry to miss church, but certainly don't want to give this crud to anyone else! 


After breakfast, another dose of Jill's killer cocktail, the remainder of the cold killing ritual I've been doing, and I'm curled up in my favorite spot by the fire thinking about catching another nap and wishing I were here:

or here:

but, instead, I'll do this!

Take a moment today to remember all of those dear ones who fought the fight or are fighting right now. 

My request today: Dear Lord, let there be a cure for all cancers, and let us find out what causes cancer.

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1

Day 1 (41)

Ok….when I said the other day, "When it rains, it pours"….I didn't expect the storm to increase! I felt a bit stuffed up and had a scratchy throat last night, so did my usual netty pot routine, bumped up the vitamin C/airborne, and cold-eze. I must make yet another request from all of you dear prayer warriors: that this cold I feel coming on gets stopped dead in its tracks! I DO NOT want the surgery delayed! 


I'm desperate enough to give my daughter's "killer concoction" another try. About a year ago, I felt the same symptoms and asked her for her secret recipe that she had had previous success with. After jotting the ingredients down on a scrap of an old envelope from one of my many "organized" piles on the desk, my ADDWOM kicked in, and I started a project in the kitchen. By the time I finished several more random tasks, I returned to mix up the brew. As happens often in my life, (my ROCK will attest to this) I couldn't find the scrap of paper with the recipe on it. I decided it was not a problem, I'd just go from memory. (1st big mistake!) I threw the cocktail together and dumped in LOTS of extra cayenne pepper and 3 cloves of garlic, since that would surely kill any cold bugs! (2nd big mistake)-I slugged it down on an empty stomach. Oh my goodness! That was not one of my better moves. It took about 5 minutes of burning in my belly before I had an extreme deja vu of my pregnancy days! UGH! With that said, (I know….TMI) I plan to be MUCH more careful this time, and follow the recipe exactly! Thank goodness for modern day technology, because I emailed my daughter this morning for the recipe (she and her beautiful family are basking in the sun and sand on their "Babymoon") and she stated very clearly that I should have breakfast FIRST and SIP it not guzzle! 


So, as much as I hate to leave this comfy spot here on my loveseat recliner in front of the fireplace wrapped in my prayer shawl and quilt, I need to get moving. Unlike these two four-legged creatures, some of us have to accomplish more than perpetual naps!

Praying your day is filled with warm fires, caring hearts, and lots of love! And remember: a TINY bit of garlic and cayenne pepper and SIP, don't guzzle!


For I know the plans I have for you; plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.    Jeremiah 29:11