Day 1 (39)

This beautiful sight greeted me this morning in all it's Winter splendor! I needed a fresh, crisp, clean start to my day today. 

My Doctor called last evening, but didn't deliver the news I wanted to hear-"We couldn't find anything!" Basically what she did give us was "No News". The MRI showed an area from front to back that looks pecular. The doc wants to do another biopsy simultaneously with an MRI to determine if this area is cancer or pre-cancer. I, of course, was not in a very good state of mind at that moment on the phone, and snapped at her: "let's just do a mastectomy and get it off!" Her response was, "I don't want to do such a radical step when it may be nothing." My only response was, "I want drugs this time!" 

So, here we are again, back to square one, and continuing to play this game I don't really care for at all-the "Waiting Game". 

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CAN'T CHANGE,

THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN, 

AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

I have to stay positive and prayerfully engaged through this process, because that hole I fell into last night when the doctor called was awful. My ROCK was right there, strong and steady, giving me every word I needed to hear and constant hugs of reassurance. Even as I continued to push away that life rope he was holding out to me, Jack persevered. And then my daughter called. Between those two extremely strong and wise people, I rose above the muck, and have been forcing clean, crisp, positive thoughts throughout my body, mind, and spirit. I have to. My cousin, Dawn, who traveled this crap journey a couple years ago, gave me powerful advice: "We can't let it drag us down, because it will just hold us in that dark place and drag everyone else down with us." Great words by an awesome woman. I love you, Dawn! (another one of my ROCKS) 

Wherever this unfamiliar journey takes me, I truly believe God is beside me every step of the way. He sent me my beloved ROCKS last night, and welcomed me this morning with an amazing piece of artwork out my window. I know He is ever present holding me up. No matter what's down the pike, this picture shares my deepest feeling.

    Our adorable Miss Tatum Georgia Nagle 

       

Hmmmmm….in the last 20 minutes, my internet got knocked off (thank goodness blogspot saves automatically!), another inch of snow has piled on the table outside, AND someone charged over $500 on my old credit card (that I haven't used in months) in CHINA!!! 

"WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS!!" 

I prefer THIS quote: “Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but life is about learning to dance in the rain.” and that is exactly what I'm going to do-well-maybe not dance in the rain-but, I WILL be dancing in the snow and making snow angels! And, yes, I'll post pics!;)

The Lord will work out his plans for my life-for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever. Don't abandon me, for you made me. ~ Psalm 138:8, NLT

P.S. I must thank all of you prayer warriors, both friends/family, and strangers. It is absolutely impossible for me to express on this blog my gratefulness and appreciation for you. The emails, cards, books, advice, support, and phone calls are a treasure to me. Even those of you who must have tinges of pain when talking to me….Harlan, Cathy, Dawn, Susan, Barb, Cristi, Marla, Sue, Pat….YOU are such an important part of my ROCK collection. Thank you. My love for you all is deep.