Day 1 (44)

Dogs and Kids….so intuitive. We "dog-sat" Pugsley, a boxer/pug pound puppy that Jill and Ryan adopted about 6 years ago. He is very intelligent, and very sensitive. Almost to the point of annoyance. For the past 5 days, Pugsley followed me everywhere-yes-even into the bathroom. (actually he laid outside the door and waited for me to come out) He slept on his bed outside our bedroom door every night, and no matter where I walked around the house, he was at my heel. When Jack and I sat in the hottub, he and Daisy laid by the door and watched until we returned. When I say annoyance, that was actually an exaggeration, because it was really a feel good moment to have him care so much about me. Dogs definitely have that extra sense, because he's visited on other occasions, and wasn't clingy at all. 


We just returned from meeting the kids at the airport with their car. They had just landed from their "Babymoon" trip to Oahu! Our sweet granddaughter, (the snorkler) came running down the hallway into my arms and hung on tight the entire time we waited for luggage to arrive. As I sat snuggling this little love of mine, she leaned back, looked me in the eye, and said, "Nana, is your heart still broken?" Oh yes, the tears were at bay….but I managed to hold them in as I reassured her that I was going to the hospital tomorrow to get it fixed. She wouldn't let go until we got to their car and headed for home. If anyone or anything can give me inner strength and courage to face tomorrows "buffet" of probing and testing; (other than God Almighty, that is) it is my little Tatum Bug. Even though I know that some of you may get of me talking about my sweet grandkids and kids, "I'm entitled" (remember, I'm reading 3 different cancer books-and they all say so!) So, for those of you who's ears are tiring of being bent in that direction-remember my warning in one of my beginning posts: read what you like and delete the rest!"


I had a nice "chat" with my BFF and cousin, Paulette, and I want to thank her for these words of wisdom to live each day by: 

Acceptance of life's changes.

Hear me, O God, for Jesus's sake and listen to my prayer. 

I'm not dealing well with change. 

Changing relationships, health, economics, living conditions, politics--all 

of this is beyond my control and disturbing my peace. Save me in this time of trial. 

Remind me that you and your great love and mercy and grace do not change. 

Help me, for I cannot help myself. Shield, protect, and deliver me from evil. 

Give me a thankful heart that sings you praises. Amen. 

(Taken from the Portal of Prayer)

We had a good visit, trying to catch up on our families, with the conversation often returning to cancer and how many of our friends and family have been or are battling it. I told her I was planning to drive to Adrian (my home town in ND) sometime this Summer, and that maybe we should plan a class reunion. (probably could do a "cancer fighter/survivor" reunion in conjunction) We graduated in a class of nine; seven girls, 2 guys. We, (like many other small town graduating classes) think of our class as quite unique and special. For many of our reunions (we began by having a 5 year) several of our parents stopped by for a visit. Until a few years back, all of our parents were still living and married (to their original spouse!) As of today, each of our class members are following in their parents' tradition. We all rode in my Dad's '65 Ford Convertible in the parade at the all school reunion a few years ago. We took a nostalgic ride into Dickey park (Nathan was driving….oh my!) and reminisced about the good times at Dickey High. 

We weren't simply a class-we were family. ( I would imagine that also is the case with many small town classes) As I think about the uniqueness of our High School graduating class, I can't help but think of how things have changed. Not by anyone's decisions or choices, but changed, nonetheless. We've gone from a "family" of individuals who defied statistics by staying married, weathered "normal" family crisis' and tragedies, lived "the dream" in many instances, and stayed closely connected to our parents and families-to a "family" who are experiencing life's changes. We all turned the spectacular age of SIXTY this past year. Along with that chronological move comes more aches and pains, less energy, more fun with grandkids for some of us, less time in the day to complete projects (or so it seems), more battles with those added pounds that seem to find our hips and bellies no matter how diligent we are with walking, biking, working out, running after grandkids and saying "no thanks" to desserts. And, unfortunately (or maybe fortunately for all the growth we are gathering from it both mentally/emotionally and spiritually), some of us have had or are experiencing cancer. That dreaded c-word that no one likes to think about, much less talk about has entered our innocent, small town, "family". (it actually first attacked one of our precious class members several years ago). And so…how do we handle news like this? How do we accept this type of adverse life change? We have no other choice but to stand up to it, confront it, and stare it in the face with everything we have to fight it! We utilize our devoted and intuitive loved ones and allow them to give us comfort, courage and support. For me, and for many of my classmates, the answer is/has been in these words that I shared above: All of this is beyond our control, therefore, we ask to be reminded of who IS in control, and how His great love and mercy and grace do not change. We ask God to shield us, protect us and deliver us from evil, and most importantly: we SING HIM PRAISES!

I am so grateful for my small town, farm-girl life. Because of my close "family" relationships of many kinds, and my grounded faith, I am able to face this cancer demon that is attacking my body head on. I am healthy, strong, and powerful-with God's help, and I know that with Him by my side, I WILL knock this cancer right out of me and into the next county! I will live the remainder of my life doing His will 
and praising His name every step of the way!

"Fear not: for I am with thee." Isaiah 43:5a