GG HERE!

Good Morning Everyone!....I'm new to this blogging, but sure am thankful to my daughter, Jill, for setting me up! She, (the very wise younger woman in my life) suggested it as an outlet for my feelings/emotions/thoughts. She's probably right, (she usually is), since I love to write, and I definitely have a truckload of emotions/thoughts going through me right now. 


Funny how a person thinks BEFORE they hear the words: "You have cancer". I used to be so careful about what I said to people fighting the fight. And, I didn't like saying the word. It was much easier to say things like: the "c" word, the dreaded disease, or whatever. Since I picked myself up off the doctor's office floor when he said, "you have carcinoma"....you see....even my doctor doesn't like to say cancer!  In fact he shys so clear of it, I was incorrectly informed on Friday 12/30/11, when told that the biopsy report went well and came back negative! If you're as good at visualization as I am, you will easily have a picture in your mind of me running around the house doing the Praise Dance! Obviously a sight to behold! 


On Wed., 1/4/12, I went back to the same doctor to get my thyroid hormone medication changed from synthetic to natural. After greeting Daisy, (my sweet little hearing service dog in case you haven't met her yet) the doc sat down across from me and opened my file. I told him I'd like to change blah, blah, blah....I really only remember one word after that...and even though he could not spit out the big "C" word, cancer has attacked enough of my dear friends to let me know what "carcinoma" means. The next thing I remember is picking myself up off the floor holding my stomach in shocked pain. (not really....but it really did feel like he had kicked me in the stomach hard enough to put me on the floor) It was a daze from then until the next day. Oh, and Jack was on his way in from being on a road trip meeting with adjusters...so I took that punch on my own. (Another "human-error" by my FORMER Doctor-not suggesting I bring someone with me to the appt.) 


Oh well....I'm doing what we used to do in the fields back on the farm in ND-PLOWING AHEAD! Since I was told I needed a biopsy, I have memorized and meditated daily (several times) on several scripture verses. The one I have completely and whole heartedly taken ownership of is Philippians 4:6. 

" Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."


This is so powerful! Every time the negative "what ifs" sneak into my mind and heart, I simply recite this verse. I feel the power instantly! I KNOW that God is going to get me through this, and I know He has plans for me, plans for hope and a future, not to harm me. (another verse I love-Jeremiah 29:11)


So...with all of that said, I will power on with positive strength, thought, and prayer. Any and all that you, my friends, can send up, are appreciated more than you will ever know! I have been humbled to tears so many times in these past couple weeks hearing of the prayers going up for me from so many places. (one of the fringies of moving often-I have THREE CHURCH FAMILIES!!:) 


Ok...it's time to get on with THIS day-1.) Shower 2.) Massage 3.) pre-surgery tests at hospital 4.) visit my BB (Booby buddy) who's going through this near exact situation with me! We told the doc we wanted to be roommates;) 5.) go home and spend some quality time with my lover. (Did I tell you Jack had to go out of town again right after my appt.?) He gets home this afternoon!;) 


Jill was right-this DOES feel GOOD!! Enjoy, or not...it's your choice....one nice thing about computers....you can take what you want and delete the rest! Love you all.....thank you in advance for prayers!


P.S. Just so you know-I have permission to have periodical "melt-downs". Jill bought me a great book: Just Get Me Through This by Deborah A. Cohen and Robert M. Gelfand, M.D. One of the quotes says: Strength does not equal "No Tears". Thank Goodness!